Make 2024 the Year of Authenticity
Picture this
You are out with a group of friends. They are all trying to figure out what to do for the evening in the middle of the week, and want to make sure they’re doing something that is fun for everyone involved. After talking in circles for a bit they land on going out to the club. They get vocal confirmation from everyone else before landing on you. You don’t really like going to the club for a lot of reasons:
You usually end up being the sober parent of the group, taking care of everyone
The music and crowd can be overstimulating
You have work in the morning and don’t want to find yourself crawling into bed at 2 AM.
With a meek smile you say “Yes, let’s do it.” And for yet another night you have completely dismissed what you most authentically need for the sake of the group. Once again, you took a utilitarian approach over seeking a solution that best served everyone. But, why wouldn’t you? They’re your friends, and it’s difficult to see a world where there are other people who would want to hang out with you.
This story may hit on too many layers of familiarity with you, but it actually is my own.
For years I spent my life inauthentically people-pleasing so that I could feel safe and secure. All while feeling incredibly chaotic within myself.
I would pursue job opportunities I didn’t want or forego experiences to please my parents.
I would go out and do things I didn’t want to do to please my friends.
I would work late into the night to please my employer.
Authenticity is often touted as a “luxury” utilized by the over-privileged or social media influencers who leverage their “authenticity” as a brand identity.
However, it is so much more than that.
According to the incredible physician, Dr. Gabor Mate. Authenticity is an innate need that allows human beings to thrive.
“We're born with a need for attachment and a need for authenticity.” - Dr. Gabor Mate
A healthy environment is one that maintains your attachment while you authentically explore the world and build a deeper understading of yourself. However, if you grow up in an environment in which your caregivers don’t know how to celebrate authenticity, then you will become an adult that foregoes authenticity for the sake of attachment.
Attachment is good, and incredibly healthy, but only so long as it is attachment that best serves your authenticity.
And, to be perfectly clear, authenticity isn’t simply “Liking what you like” and blasting Black Parade from your room as you scream at the top of your 31 year old lungs that “Emo isn’t a phase!”
Authenticity is the ability to fully recognize and be with your deepest wants, needs, and desires, and to navigate your choices from a space of responsiveness.
Authenticity is the capacity to recognize when you are out of spoons for activities, and when you have more fuel in the tank to give.
Authenticity means you are aware from moment to moment whether you are feeling joyful, or grief, hungry, or thirsty.
Authenticity - quite simply - is knowing yourself deeply.
When you are inauthentic it can directly impact your life is devastating ways. Think of the times you reactively self-sabotaged a relationship because you were anxious or avoidant.
Or think of the time you spent in a job that was dissatisfying because you reactively stayed?
Authenticity is fundamentally rooted in a deep well of love and compassion for yourself and others.
Meanwhile Inauthetnicity has its roots steeped in fear.
Authenticity is the ability to sit with discomfort and navigate forward with grace.
It isn’t reactive
And it doesn’t leave much room for regret.
This year I will be writing, sharing, and posting numerous tips for authenticity, starting with my powerful Master Class on Sunday, January 14th 2024.
Unapologetically Authentic: Being Yourself and Inspiring Others
Make 2024 your Year to be fully and unapologetically Authentic
Sign up today and radically change your life!
