The Day My World Came Crashing Down…

TW for seizures, suicide, trauma, etc.

Today is the six year anniversary of the moment that my entire life would completely, and radically shift.

Six years ago today, I took my then fiance to the ER because they suddenly fell in front of me and were having a seizure.

I still remember that moment, my ears were ringing from the sheer terror of it all, it felt like the world slowed down to a horrific halt, and the only one moving was my partner.

I felt myself call for an ambulance.

To be honest I don’t even remember where we were physically.

It was like someone else had taken control and did what needed to be done while I psychologically wasn’t at home.

And then we took Ezra to the hospital only for them to tell us that “They don’t know why” it happened.

Had this not happened six years ago, I would not be writing this blog today. Honey, I wouldn’t even be out of the closet today, working as a spiritual teacher, or healed from this lifetime’s trauma.

My wife’s seizure was the catalyst that hurtled us down a path that would be the most excruciatingly painful and horrific experiences we’ve ever experienced in our lives.

From then on, the seizures would continue to happen, seemingly without reason.

I still remember sitting in the doctor’s office with Ezra months later and the doctor telling Ezra they couldn’t drive, and me looking at them and saying “I guess I’m moving to Delaware with you”

What was supposed to be a year long-distance, turned into me packing my entire life up in two weeks and moving away from home for the first time in 23 years.

What followed was a journey of deterioration in Ezra’s health that left us feeling suffocated.

From the seizures came an acknowledgement that they manifested due to unresolved trauma.

To really make the lesson hit home, Ezra’s body then became racked with Fibromyalgia (a chronic pain condition), Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Pots.

For three years we went from doctor to doctor for them to only tell us that this personal hell was “our life now.”

Well my sweet loves, I am here to tell you that, that is simply not true!

Ezra nearly lost their fight against all of their conditions and attempted to take their life while I was an hour away at my new job.

They woke up in the ICU, and thank the Gods had zero memory of the dissociative attempt.

But it was that moment.

That ultimate rock bottom

That led us to choose a different path for ourselves and fully embody that path.

Instead of feeling like victims in perpetuity we became radically curious about a better tomorrow.

We invited the notion that healing was not only possible but entirely probable.

We dove deep into how to merge the most modern research in neuroscience with spiritual practices.

And now, here we are, six years later, and fucking thriving.

Ezra has entered their second year of med school and they are completely healed from Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, CPTSD and PTSD because those conditions were all manifestations of their trauma,

I have been working in this role and helping support others in their healing because I am now completely healed from my Chronic Anxiety and depression disorders, CPTSD, and PTSD because I targeted and focused on rewiring trauma out of my brain. Now I get to live a life where I am truly and profoundly witnessing others lives transform thanks to the work that we’ve done together.

And don’t get it twisted, honey. If we perceive trauma as a poisonous tree I’ve only cut off all the branches, there is still the trunk that represents ancestral and generational trauma that I am working with, not to mention the ROOTS of spiritual trauma.

BUT, as far as the trauma I experienced in this body in this lifetime I am gladly no longer living in a state of perpetuated trauma cycles because I have done the work.

If you are still uncertain, if you are still on the fence, if you are still committing to your healing with one foot out the door, I write this blog to tell you that it is so worth it to go all in.

You can’t heal without conviction.

And the path that we were on is why we ended up in such an immensely painful hell realm for 3 years.

It can get better my loves. But the question is whether or not you are willing to do it!

Here is a mantra I give every single client I work with, a gift from me to you.

Say this three times every morning in the mirror, and three times in the evening.

Say it with conviction.

And then message me after a month.
Tell me how serious you are about healing and let’s do whatever it takes to get you there.

I’m the only one who can save myself

I choose to save myself

I deserve to be saved

No one is coming to save you. Even if they did, would you accept that help?

I could not save my partner, but they saved themself. I could not ask anyone to save me, so I saved myself.

I sought out the support and guidance I needed, and I am the one who put in the work to make it happen.

You can do it too.

I believe in you.

I love you.

And thank the Gods, Goddesses, Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Dakas and Dakinis, Saints and Sages, Angels and Arc Angels that my world came crashing down 6 years ago. Because now I am happier and more at peace than ever before.

If this is something that you want to achieve, please reach out. I would be honored to support you, and sign up for my email list below.